"Half of a yellow sun" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Review

The newly acquired independence of Nigeria from the Commonwealth involves new problems. The population is split over how the country should be governed. Many intellectuals still see a strong bond to the former colonial ruler Great Britain, and between the different tribes is discord as well, because when you speak of Nigerians you don’t speak of a homogenous people but a loose affiliation of different peoples whose only common ground is that between the borders of their nation.

Now that the Nigerians are supposed to govern themselves, each of those tribes is afraid of being overlooked, and Nigeria turns into a powder keg. History is made quickly, a military putsch is pulled through mainly by Igbo, one of the three biggest tribes in Nigeria. That results in the persecution of the Igbo who get murdered in masses by people of the other tribes. 1967 at last, in the South-East of the country, the republic Biafra is declared, a nation supposed to protect the Igbo and make them independent from Nigeria. What follows is a bloody war between both countries and a blockade that coins the image of the biafran malnourished child with a bloated belly forever before Biafra is reincorporated after the capitulation in 1970.

In “Half of a yellow sun”, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie bluntly and impressively tells the story of three people during the rise and fall of Biafra. The link between those people is the university docent Odenigbo who fights for Biafra passionately. We witness the story from the point of view of his wife Olanna who falls from the life of a privileged daughter of a rich family into a life in poverty in a refugee camp during the war, the point of view of the houseboy Ugwu who is intellectually fostered but also influenced by his master and yet always keeps a little jungle in his heart, and from the point of view of the British journalist Richard who, after living as a stranger in Nigeria, finally feels home in Biafra – and still isn’t, due to his skin colour and origin and the privileges coming with that.

With “Half of a yellow sun”, Adichie, who is an Igbo herself, makes a part of history visible that ususally is overlooked by the Eurocentric world view and the habit to let the winners write history and yet manages to not force a onesided view upon the reader by being fully aware of both the flaws of Biafra as well as the injustices that were committed by Nigeria and the rest of the world. Additionally, with the social entanglements between Olanna, Odenigbo and Richard and their families, she makes up a thrilling and captivating family story.

 “Half of a yellow sun” makes this part of history understandable especially to those who never heard the word Biafra. Helping with that is a glossary at the end of the book.

"My heart and other black holes" by Jasmine Warga - Review

Aysel is 16, depressive and plans to kill herself. Some may think that this is the typical melodramatic behaviour of a teenager. But Aysels problems are pretty atypical: She is the daughter of a convicted murderer, and no one in Langston, a small town in Kentucky, fails to remind her of that, not even her family who she feels left out of, and she herself. She fears that she might have inherited the „gene for evil“, for the rage and aggression of her father, and one thing is clear – waiting and seeing what happens? Not an option.

But Aysel is also scared that she might not follow through, that she might back down in the last second. A partner is needed, and she finds that partner online at „Smooth Passages“.

This partners name is Roman, respectively FrozenRobot, is 17 and lives in the nearby town Willis, even though „living“, in his case, means „existing“. Roman has to live with a whole different problem: He didn't watch his younger sister carefully enough and she drowned. He feels responsible for that. He, too, fears he might not actually do it, and thus he advertises at Smooth Passages and is found by Aysel.

Except for the shared wish for death, Aysel and Roman are quite different. While Aysel is more of a weirdo with her interest in classical music and science plus her Turkish heritage which is pretty uncommon in conserative Kentucky, Roman is popular, athletic, normal and somewhat fitting in. What they share is April 7^th, the day they chose to jump off a cliff into Ohio River together. But can you plan a suicide with someone you don't even know? Even if you just want to die instead of live together?

„My heart and other black holes“ is Jasmine Wargas well-made first novel. You don't wish upon her that she got inspired by her own life, yet, she started writing after a good friend of her died in 2013. Thematically, this young adult book is incredibly important. In a world where the rates of teenagers in therapy rise steadily it is a great approach to offer a reflection in the character of Aysel that touches the reader, may it be the reader that is affected themself or the happiest person in the world. And we follow this reflection, we understand Aysels emotions, her grief, her fear, her suspicion, and we witness her developement, see a possible progress of an illness that is hidden and ignored so easily. Still, „My heart and other black holes“ isn't meant to scare people. It's meant to help feeling understood, and this intention is met with bravour.

I'd recommend „My heart and other black holes“ to fans of John Greens „The fault in our stars“, to readers who like to sympathise, and of course to everyone who wants to feel understood in their sorrows just once.

Reverse Q&A

A few months ago, I subscribed to SuperSamStuff on YouTube. To be honest, I think I am growing apart with YouTube in general. I've been there for 10 years now, watching a shitload of videos, I think there has been a phase in my teenage years where I literally did nothing else in my freetime, but now, I found other stuff to do and thus only watch rarely and not everything the channels I subscribed to create. That's why I am especially glad I found Sams video „Let's get personal“ in which he answers a few questions. Those questions originate from a video by Sammy Paul. The overall idea is to have a reverse Q&A, Sammy asking the questions, people answering.
People who know me for some time may have realized by now that I quite enjoy answering questions about myself. Yes, that might be a bit self-centered, but that may be because I am in general really bad at asking questions. I prefer the conversation just coming up as you go. Start by asking me a question, listen to my answer, then tell me yours and we'll have follow-up questions, anecdotes that spring to mind because of our answers and so on, that's how I like to talk.
Anyways, I really liked the questions Sammy asked the world, and I'd like to answer them. Since the days when I tried to make YouTube videos myself are long, long gone and I don't fancy giving it the millionth try, I decided to use this little blog here to do so – also because I am way better at writing than talking in front of a camera to keep my thoughts in order and easy to follow. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by not talking to the camera again!

There we go:

1 - In this moment, what are you most excited for?

Next year, I will finish my apprenticeship. I'll have my written exam in April, my oral exam in June or July, and then I will be a fully trained bookseller. That also means that I'll officially start applying for a new job in January – and I'll move back to my home town. I'll live with my grandma for a couple of months before my boyfriend is finished studying and we can move in together. This whole 'future' thing is really exciting if a bit scary, but mostly, I am really looking forward to living closer to my family again, getting a new place to work at (disclaimer: I love my current work place, but I am a fan of change, of new things, so bear with me), and of course to go apartment hunting and (YAY!) furnish a whole new place to fit both my boyfriend and me, especially since our financial possibilities will be something entirely else than what we have now. No, I cannot stop thinking of that future – and I am looking forward to it!

2 - What do you risk regretting about your current lifestyle in five years time?

Smoking of course. I will stop at some point in the next 3 years. Hear me out: I know I should do it now, and I keep telling that myself as well (literally every time I am about to finish a pack of cigarettes), but on the other hand, since (I hinted it above) my financial situation is everything but safe right now, that's a thing I get upset about a lot and what I really need when I am upset (I repeat: A LOT) is to calm down. Cigarettes help with that. I'd prefer my life in general to be more stable when I quit because I am actually scared I'll be a complete asshole when I do that. Correction: I KNOW that I will be a complete asshole, and I'd like to keep collatoral damage as small as possible. So yeah, give me time. It will happen eventually. Just not yet.

3 - If you had to raise a child with one other person in your life, who you are not romantically engaged with, who would it be and why?

Propably my best friend. We'd raise the most woke child in the history of wokeness.
On the other hand, my mum would be a great candidate as well. My mum is awesome at raising children, my amazing sister and I are proof for that.

4 - If I were to say "home", what's the first image that comes to mind?

I cannot answer that clearly. On one hand, it's the place I grew up at, where I sit in the yard with my parents and drink and talk. The whole neighbourhood I grew up in, actually.
On the other hand, it's the future place I imagine having next year with my boyfriend. More details on that will follow at some point, but this is not the post for that. Propably when things get serious next year.
And on the third hand (is that something people say?), in a future a bit further away, Devon. Ever since I spent a month living and working in Exeter, I keep missing it like hell. I have rarely ever felt so welcome somewhere, and the overall atmosphere of Exeter and Exmouth clicks with me. I discovered an empty shop in Exmouth that looked perfect to open up what I have in mind for my own bookshop at some point in my life, and I keep dreaming of that, of the whole month I spent there. I miss that place and especially the people there just as much as I kept missing my family for the past 2 years living in a different place, so I guess that means a lot.

5 - What doesn't scare you that should?

To be honest, the very few things that do pop up are either things that actually should not scare me or that I am actually scared of and just pretend not to be. I am a general a very scared person, even if I don't show it too often. The question would be easier to answer if it was „What scares you that shouldn't“. I guess I have to spare this one.

6 - What's the angriest you've ever been?

I am also a very angry person in general. I can't really decide on a moment. Because that's my secret, I am always angry. No, actually, moment a) was when I realized that my phone company fucked up my contract which is why I have to pay 10 bucks more each month on an already expensive contract – and I can't even cancel it because of that. At least, not before the minimum contract duration of 2 years is met.

b) would be last year, when a guy comissioned me for 100 bucks, I delivered including sending him several „work in progress“ asking if he likes it or if I should change something, and he just downright refused to pay me. And blocked me everywhere. Via a friend I got told he didn't like the artwork. Fuck that guy. That's when I started working with a contract only.

7 - What are the three most justifiable reasons someone might dislike you?

1. I do discuss a lot. I am a feminist, anti-racist, LGBT-supporting – well, let's face it, I am a social justice warrior. Even if we actually agree on those topics, I tend to be pretty obsessed with issues quickly, and that's exhausting for people – for me as well, to be honest. I understand if people prefer to not get to close to me because of that.
2. Actually, I just talk a lot in general – that can be exhausting too, even if it is about a topic that's completely harmless. I get that this is not something everybody likes.
3. I do swear a lot and am pretty casual in my everyday language. And very open. Sometimes a bit tmi. Not everyones thing.

8 - Select a random aqcuaintence in your life. What's the biggest favour that person could do for you?

My boyfriend could come over and cuddle me while I fall asleep. That would be nice. Does he count as an aquaintance? I don't know, but I know him, so I guess yes.

9 - In contrast, what's the biggest favour you could do for that person?

Cuddle back. (Can you tell I miss having him here every day when he had his break from uni?)

10 - What compliment has meant the most to you?

Even though I don't talk to that person anymore for different reasons, someone once told me that when I discuss topics, I put my arguments very well and they usually started to overthink and question their own views because of me. That was an awesome compliment and it made me smile for a few days straight.

Well, now y'all do know a bit more about me. I'd really enjoy to read some of your answers in the comments – let's make it a conversation!

"Masterminds" by Gordon Korman - Review

Imagine growing up in a small town in New Mexico. There is no crime, no one is unemployed, no poverty, everyone is peaceful, share everything justly and are completely honest with each other.

Sounds good, right? Almost too good.

Serenity is such a paradise. Although a bit boring. Except for the plastic factory that no one can enter without working there and the Serenity trophy, a gift from Roosevelt himself, there’s not much to see. Eli Baris still feels pretty good about living there, and most of his classmates agree with him. That’s why hardly anyone of them ever crossed the city borders, not even for a vacation with their parents. Why should they? Serenity holds everything you need, and out there you only get violence and hate.

And an old car that Eli and his best friend Randy want to explore, somewhere in the forest just beyond the city limits. But Eli never gets there because when reaching the border he suddenly collapses with pain and nausea. What fist seems to be a coincidence turns out to be a complex plan to keep Eli and ten other kids inside the city. But why them? And why does it seem as if in this peaceful idyll so much is a lie or even life-threatening?

“Masterminds” by Gordon Korman is an exceptional novel for young readers 12 years or older. In about 330 pages happens so much that would actually be part of a dystopian novel like “Hunger Games” or “Divergent”, and yet while reading you realize quickly that what’s happening in this book could happen just as well in real life. To be honest it is not easy to review this book without spoilers – and there’s much to spoil given the loads of revelations and plot twists “Masterminds” has to offer. Thus, there’s not much more to do than simply express a clear recommendation: For everyone who likes mystery, for everyone who’s flirting with the thought of reading “Divergent” but would prefer less death – and for everyone who likes to question right and wrong.

"Americanah" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Review

 One thing has to be clear from the very beginning: Yes, this book is about race. And about racism. No ifs, no buts. And yet without dividing the world into good and evil based on race and without a wagging finger. It’s evaluating the situation and it’s honest.

“Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (a name you’ll have to learn merely because you’ll be delighted by her work) is about two young Nigerian lovers. Ifemelu and Obinze meet in school and quickly become a couple. They are intelligent, determined and plan to leave Africa already while still at university. Ifemelu seems to be successful with that plan, but she has to learn that in the USA, her skin colour suddenly becomes a huge factor and that it’s not easy to establish herself, let alone earn money when you’re a black foreigner. After one especially bad incident the contact to her boyfriend Obinze breaks off completely. Later, she starts writing a blog about her observations about the topic race in America.

However, Obinze doesn’t get visa for the USA because he is a young man of colour and those are viewed with even more suspicion by the American authorities. Instead he manages to overrun a visa in London for a few years without being discovered. Shortly before he can get married for convenience he gets caught and deported.

Years later, Ifemelu decides to go back to Nigeria and she and Obinze meet again.

With “Americanah”, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie managed to write a classic right from the start. The young Nigerian writer tells her story in a style very comparable to literature Nobel prize winners. Her sober portrayal of an existence as a black person opens the readers’ eyes quickly for things you usually don’t realize as a person not affected by racism – and those are not even necessarily negative things.

I truly think everyone should read Adichie, literally anything she has written – but take care, she can get you addicted pretty quickly.

"The Rain" by Virginia Bergin - Review

We look for it on other planets, consist of it approximately two thirds, and the prognosis is that in a future not too far away we may have to fight wars about it: Water is THE premise to sustain life, from the smallest organism to the biggest. But what happens if such an important substance suddenly turns into the most dangerous thing in the world?

In Virginia Bergins Thriller „The Rain“ the teenager Ruby Morris has to make just that experience. So far, living well-protected in sleepy Darthbridge in south-west England, her only worries are her stepfather she often fights with, her crush Casper and iffy Saskia who tries to take him away right in front of her. Puberty. The fact that a few years ago a giant meteorite was bombed right before hitting Earth atmosphere isn't exactly bothering her either. But this exact meteorite brought a diabolic bacterium when it rained down in tiny pieces all over the planet. It is hyperresistent, it links with water, it multiplies rapidly, and it kills its victims within just a few hours.

Ruby has to realize quickly that this tiny thing from outer space is able to turn her whole world around. Friends? Dead. Family? Propably also dead. Energy? Blackout. Showering? Forget it. And the biggest problem, of course, is thirst. The supplies of safe drinks are drained quickly, and other, stronger, armed people are not going to share anything.

Virginia Bergin describes this extreme situation, this postapocalyptic chaos vividly and realisticly. With great care she considers every consequence of such a plague and does't fear partly unsavoury scenes. That the protagonist is a 15-years-old girl is a well-made effect (because in no phase of life the own problems seem to be so much more important than others), but sometimes a bit exhausting (same reason). But that doesn't disturb the appeal of the story as a whole at all – I won't leave my home without a umbrella for some time.

Fourteen years

 TW SEXUAL VIOLENCE

This is a text that is not easy to write down, but simultaneously too important to not do it. It is personal, very personal. That is why I have to write it down, both because it explains a lot about me as a person and because, more importantly, it is something that concerns so many people everywhere.
When I was 7 years old, I was sexually abused. I'll spare you the details and graphic descriptions. The things important about it are that a) it happened in the first place, b) it was not someone I knew, and c) I was lucky enough to survive. I also had the luck to be raised by a mother that made me feel safe enough with her that I told her rightaway, and we went to report it to the police the next day.
And then, a long time, nothing happened, and eventually, the case got closed.
I learned to live with what had happened to me. I never kept it a secret, but I didn't tell it without a reason either. I told it to everyone I dated a bit longer, and to close friends, because I always felt like that might be important to understand me better as a person, to understand why I was quite pessimistic when it came to police and reporting crimes, to understand why I had problems mentally and so on. With every time I told my story again, it became easier. I am now at a point where I can tell it without crying, just like the fact that it is. I also came to terms with that man not being caught. I had to.
Fourteen years later, when I was away in Exeter for my internship abroad, I got a call from the police in my home town, and first I thought I was in trouble - the most criminal thing I might have done in my life would be underage drinking by the way.
The officer told me an eight-years-old girl had been sexually abused, and apparently the cases were so similar that they dug out mine again. I was asked to tell my story once again and answer a few questions, and while the police officer handled me with great care on the phone and while another child had to experience what I experienced for this to happen, I was weirdly happy. After all this time, I had an actual chance to get justice.
I went to testify and answer the questions they had. While after fourteen years I had forgotten details, or remembered them wrong, I still was able to find better words for things and apparently that helped. A few months later, I got a call again.
They got him. For days, I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. They got him. Yet, I was sceptical until I read in the newspaper that he testified to be my abuser as well. And they got him.
And now I got a letter informing me about my rights as a victim. The letter included his name. I know his name. To be honest, I don't really know why this is so important to me, but it is, even if I can't really explain it. Maybe because it makes it more real. It's hard to believe that this is not a dream, having your case solved after such a long time.
My family and friends keep asking me if I was okay. They think all of this might reopen old wounds. Weirdly, it doesn't. At least nothing more than a scratch. Mostly, I am happy and relieved. Of course, there's no way to undo what has been done to me and that poor other girl. But at least, he won't be able to hurt anyone else. And that's all I could ask for.
This is my story, and it's important to me to write it down for the world to see. First of all because silence doesn't help anyone. Secondly, because I hope that it might give hope to others who experience sexual abuse. Hope that they may get justice, and hope that they can heal.
People often claim that children who experienced sexual violence will never be able to live a normal life with that horrible memory. Now of course I can't speak for everyone, but for me, that's wrong.
I do live a normal life - and a good one. I have a job that I love, a wonderful family, my amazing boyfriend, awesome friends, and I am happy. Sure, I will never be able to forget what happened, but I rarely think about it. Not even once a week. Almost never. I have so many other things to think about. I live a good life. He did not destroy it. And that might be the best thing about all of this.