Reverse Q&A

A few months ago, I subscribed to SuperSamStuff on YouTube. To be honest, I think I am growing apart with YouTube in general. I've been there for 10 years now, watching a shitload of videos, I think there has been a phase in my teenage years where I literally did nothing else in my freetime, but now, I found other stuff to do and thus only watch rarely and not everything the channels I subscribed to create. That's why I am especially glad I found Sams video „Let's get personal“ in which he answers a few questions. Those questions originate from a video by Sammy Paul. The overall idea is to have a reverse Q&A, Sammy asking the questions, people answering.
People who know me for some time may have realized by now that I quite enjoy answering questions about myself. Yes, that might be a bit self-centered, but that may be because I am in general really bad at asking questions. I prefer the conversation just coming up as you go. Start by asking me a question, listen to my answer, then tell me yours and we'll have follow-up questions, anecdotes that spring to mind because of our answers and so on, that's how I like to talk.
Anyways, I really liked the questions Sammy asked the world, and I'd like to answer them. Since the days when I tried to make YouTube videos myself are long, long gone and I don't fancy giving it the millionth try, I decided to use this little blog here to do so – also because I am way better at writing than talking in front of a camera to keep my thoughts in order and easy to follow. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by not talking to the camera again!

There we go:

1 - In this moment, what are you most excited for?

Next year, I will finish my apprenticeship. I'll have my written exam in April, my oral exam in June or July, and then I will be a fully trained bookseller. That also means that I'll officially start applying for a new job in January – and I'll move back to my home town. I'll live with my grandma for a couple of months before my boyfriend is finished studying and we can move in together. This whole 'future' thing is really exciting if a bit scary, but mostly, I am really looking forward to living closer to my family again, getting a new place to work at (disclaimer: I love my current work place, but I am a fan of change, of new things, so bear with me), and of course to go apartment hunting and (YAY!) furnish a whole new place to fit both my boyfriend and me, especially since our financial possibilities will be something entirely else than what we have now. No, I cannot stop thinking of that future – and I am looking forward to it!

2 - What do you risk regretting about your current lifestyle in five years time?

Smoking of course. I will stop at some point in the next 3 years. Hear me out: I know I should do it now, and I keep telling that myself as well (literally every time I am about to finish a pack of cigarettes), but on the other hand, since (I hinted it above) my financial situation is everything but safe right now, that's a thing I get upset about a lot and what I really need when I am upset (I repeat: A LOT) is to calm down. Cigarettes help with that. I'd prefer my life in general to be more stable when I quit because I am actually scared I'll be a complete asshole when I do that. Correction: I KNOW that I will be a complete asshole, and I'd like to keep collatoral damage as small as possible. So yeah, give me time. It will happen eventually. Just not yet.

3 - If you had to raise a child with one other person in your life, who you are not romantically engaged with, who would it be and why?

Propably my best friend. We'd raise the most woke child in the history of wokeness.
On the other hand, my mum would be a great candidate as well. My mum is awesome at raising children, my amazing sister and I are proof for that.

4 - If I were to say "home", what's the first image that comes to mind?

I cannot answer that clearly. On one hand, it's the place I grew up at, where I sit in the yard with my parents and drink and talk. The whole neighbourhood I grew up in, actually.
On the other hand, it's the future place I imagine having next year with my boyfriend. More details on that will follow at some point, but this is not the post for that. Propably when things get serious next year.
And on the third hand (is that something people say?), in a future a bit further away, Devon. Ever since I spent a month living and working in Exeter, I keep missing it like hell. I have rarely ever felt so welcome somewhere, and the overall atmosphere of Exeter and Exmouth clicks with me. I discovered an empty shop in Exmouth that looked perfect to open up what I have in mind for my own bookshop at some point in my life, and I keep dreaming of that, of the whole month I spent there. I miss that place and especially the people there just as much as I kept missing my family for the past 2 years living in a different place, so I guess that means a lot.

5 - What doesn't scare you that should?

To be honest, the very few things that do pop up are either things that actually should not scare me or that I am actually scared of and just pretend not to be. I am a general a very scared person, even if I don't show it too often. The question would be easier to answer if it was „What scares you that shouldn't“. I guess I have to spare this one.

6 - What's the angriest you've ever been?

I am also a very angry person in general. I can't really decide on a moment. Because that's my secret, I am always angry. No, actually, moment a) was when I realized that my phone company fucked up my contract which is why I have to pay 10 bucks more each month on an already expensive contract – and I can't even cancel it because of that. At least, not before the minimum contract duration of 2 years is met.

b) would be last year, when a guy comissioned me for 100 bucks, I delivered including sending him several „work in progress“ asking if he likes it or if I should change something, and he just downright refused to pay me. And blocked me everywhere. Via a friend I got told he didn't like the artwork. Fuck that guy. That's when I started working with a contract only.

7 - What are the three most justifiable reasons someone might dislike you?

1. I do discuss a lot. I am a feminist, anti-racist, LGBT-supporting – well, let's face it, I am a social justice warrior. Even if we actually agree on those topics, I tend to be pretty obsessed with issues quickly, and that's exhausting for people – for me as well, to be honest. I understand if people prefer to not get to close to me because of that.
2. Actually, I just talk a lot in general – that can be exhausting too, even if it is about a topic that's completely harmless. I get that this is not something everybody likes.
3. I do swear a lot and am pretty casual in my everyday language. And very open. Sometimes a bit tmi. Not everyones thing.

8 - Select a random aqcuaintence in your life. What's the biggest favour that person could do for you?

My boyfriend could come over and cuddle me while I fall asleep. That would be nice. Does he count as an aquaintance? I don't know, but I know him, so I guess yes.

9 - In contrast, what's the biggest favour you could do for that person?

Cuddle back. (Can you tell I miss having him here every day when he had his break from uni?)

10 - What compliment has meant the most to you?

Even though I don't talk to that person anymore for different reasons, someone once told me that when I discuss topics, I put my arguments very well and they usually started to overthink and question their own views because of me. That was an awesome compliment and it made me smile for a few days straight.

Well, now y'all do know a bit more about me. I'd really enjoy to read some of your answers in the comments – let's make it a conversation!