Last week, I read an article on the German blog Im Gegenteil titled "The future isn't female - a plea for more cooperation between the genders" that was, in my eyes, pretty ill-informed and not fully thought through. I decided to write an article myself, an alternative to what the other author wrote and made feminism out to be. This article was originally published on Im Gegenteil in German as well.
Oh, when will we finally get rid of that old fairytale that feminists want to get rid of men. When will critics of feminism finally realize what feminists already know: That feminists, of course, don't want to get rid of men, because a) it's simply impossible and b) doesn't help at all?
Why do so many people still believe this nonsense? Probably because they lack the willingness to abstract. Because the thing feminism wants to get rid of is the patriarchy, the supremacy of men - and when we say "men", we mean masculinity as a social concept, not "each and every individual man has to cease to exist". Maybe that is because we are not a children's playtime club, no fancy trend that is in right now, but individuals with a political opinion - opinions, that is, which can differ a lot and can be expressed differently as well, of course. Because that is basically the main point of feminism: We are not a homogenous group. Because women are not a homogenous group. Men aren't either, by the way.
Now some may say: "When neither men nor women are a homogenous group, why do you fight against the supremacy of men, isn' t that a contradiction?"
Let's start at the very beginning, with the idea that "man" and "woman" are merely categories that we as humans use for ourselves. The failure of those begins when we are asking for definitions: What makes someone a man or a woman? A lot of people love to answer that with genitals or chromosomes. I'm sorry to disappoint you: Even from a biological view there are not only man and woman, two categories existing strictly like this. There's way more variety than XX and XY and there's a spectrum between vagina and penis. I know, all of us learned that differently in school but just because our curriculum is simplified that doesn't mean reality is as well.
So it's natural to just assume that gender is a social construct and that also means that so-called femininity and masculinity are only learned behaviours. And now we are at the roots: We live in a society that works within these exact categories. We humans just really love our labels. In the end, the aim is that each and every person can do what he or she or they or every other pronoun should be able to do whatever they want. Every person should be able to live however they want and however it makes them happy. Of course with the usual limits: My freedom ends where it limits the freedom of someone else. That goes in every direction - doing things that don't fit your socially assigned gender role, doing exactly those things, everything in between.
And yes, sure, by law we already got pretty far, but only because it already got better that doesn't mean we are already done. When I go on vacation I don't stop half-way down the road either and say "Ok, here we are, vacation time!" when I'm still in France but originally planned to go to Portugal. Sure, by law we can live our lives quite freely already. The problem is mainly the reactions of others to how we live - sure, women can have a career, but there's still always the worry that they could get pregnant the next second and go on maternity leave. Even when they can't have children. Which is not anyone's business, really. And even if they get pregnant: Why does it harm the professional life of the person giving birth so much, but not the person who impregnated them? When we always say that it takes two people to make a child (which is correct), why is only one of them taking the responsibility for it? Why isn't it more normal for both parents to equally take care of their child? We are having a structural problem here, a vicious circle that needs to be broken. And that isn't only the case here but also when the topic is the choice of profession, the gender pay gap, and many more.
The point is: Yes, theoretically, women can be and do everything they want in Germany, but it will be so much harder as soon as they want to be or do something that is viewed as masculine. The other way around as well. Ever seen the drama when a man wants to be a nurse or a kindergarten teacher?
My favourite argument is still that it is women making other women's lives miserable. And again: yes! It was never about blaming one gender. Sometimes I wish it was that easy because that would make these problems way easier to solve. The sad truth is: women are sexist. Of course they are. All of us are sexist. Simply because we live in and are socialized by a sexist society. Vicious circle, again.
So when we agree that everyone should be able to live a life in equality and well-being regardless of gender and that neither women are the only victims of the patriarchy nor men are the only ones responsible for it: Why call it feminism and not humanism? That's basically not wrong. On the German Wikipedia page about humanism you can read the following definition: "[Humanism] drafts an ideal society where the best possible personal development of every individual person should be enabled. This is linked to criticism of current circumstances which are opposing this goal from the viewpoint of humanism." So you could say in your best conscience: Feminism is always humanistic. The reason to still call it feminism is explained just as quickly: When everything that is viewed as masculine by humanity is valued more than everything that is categorized as feminine we have to bring both to an equal level. And only then we have a chance to get rid of those categories for good.
So yes, I do agree: The future isn't female. The future is diverse and great for everyone. And yes, for that to happen all of us have to work together regardless of gender. So please: Reflect on yourself, your thoughts, your behavious, talk to your friends, family and everyone you know, raise your children to be individuals and maybe, in a few generations, we can be truly humanist. Because feminism is only necessary as long as sexism exists.
11.9.18
Where am I?
This blogpost was originally published in German as part of the Retales series on countessleto.wordpress.de.
"Where am I?"
This seems to be a question that customers just love to ask themselves but only after entering a shop and asking the assistants one or two questions. Or not at all. You usually get whether or not they did based on what they ask you.
During my bookseller apprenticeship, there were two types of people. Type 1 was all the people (and yes, they were quite a lot) entering and saying something like: "Hello, I'd like a book please." Internally, I'd roll my eyes at them and make a huge gesture around the room, as if to say: "IF ONLY WE HAD BOOKS!?" Of course you can't really do that. Instead, I'd ask a simple counter-question: "Would you like to specify that question a bit?" Usually, that'd do the deal.
Not with type 2 though - type 2 enters and asks for everything except for books. Sure, we can help out with some of those things, like calendars, planners, notebooks and so on. But then... all the times people asked me for stamps. Kind of related, sure, but no, you get stamps at the post office just down the road. Usually, they said that's too far away. But people also requested completely unrelated things like CD-players. And the best thing about that is: When you start explaining that you don't have what the customer was asking for - they start discussions. "That's incredibly bad service!" I mean, sure, but that doesn't make the thing appear magically out of thin air. I'll order any available book for you overnight, it would be my pleasure, really, but I can't get my hands on a CD-player just like that. That's not my job either. I'm a bookseller after all.
Now, about a year after I finished my apprenticeship, I work at a crafts shop because the job market for booksellers is shit. Maybe that would be different if people would ask us for books for once instead of CD-players. But oh well... crafts shop it is. Don't you think that kind of conversation was done now, oh no, it just changed.
"Hello, I'd like to present my gift of money in a lovely way, do you happen to have a good idea for that?" (By the way, I love it when the word 'idea', which is the name of the shop as well, gets emphasized like that and then the customer thinks they made the greatest pun ever. Didn't hear that one before. Yes, you came up with that as the first person ever. So funny.) Yes, I have one or two ideas. Look, here, frame with cords, you can hang your money on there and put some stuff around that matches the occasion or the presentees interests. "Oh, that's too elaborate for me, that would require crafting." Thanks to some colleagues I know it's perfectly fine here to answer: "Well, you are in a crafts shop here..." Doesn't help though. Crafting ideas in a crafts shop, who would come up with that crazy kind of ideas? Then the customer lays an eye on the models in the shelf for inspiration and asks if they could buy that one instead. In some cases, they can, for example, the Schultüten (school cones, google it, that's pretty specific for Germany). When you tell them the price though, they usually lose it within seconds. They absolutely love to make a counteroffer that doesn't only disrespect the hours of work one of my colleagues put into it but also is way below the mere cost of the used materials. But buying ready for use packaging for gifts of money somewhere else is bad because you want something individual and not staple goods.
And here, as well, there are customers that go completely wild and yell and curse when you don't have what they are looking for. My favourite so far was an elderly man, I still don't know what he was actually looking for because his explanation was really inadequate before he started yelling at me, cursing on about todays youth and, anyway, no surprise retail is dying when we don't have what he wants. I could only smile about that. Because at some point you learn that those kind of moments are actually reeeeally funny when you yourself actually have nothing to do with them at all.
"Where am I?"
This seems to be a question that customers just love to ask themselves but only after entering a shop and asking the assistants one or two questions. Or not at all. You usually get whether or not they did based on what they ask you.
During my bookseller apprenticeship, there were two types of people. Type 1 was all the people (and yes, they were quite a lot) entering and saying something like: "Hello, I'd like a book please." Internally, I'd roll my eyes at them and make a huge gesture around the room, as if to say: "IF ONLY WE HAD BOOKS!?" Of course you can't really do that. Instead, I'd ask a simple counter-question: "Would you like to specify that question a bit?" Usually, that'd do the deal.
Not with type 2 though - type 2 enters and asks for everything except for books. Sure, we can help out with some of those things, like calendars, planners, notebooks and so on. But then... all the times people asked me for stamps. Kind of related, sure, but no, you get stamps at the post office just down the road. Usually, they said that's too far away. But people also requested completely unrelated things like CD-players. And the best thing about that is: When you start explaining that you don't have what the customer was asking for - they start discussions. "That's incredibly bad service!" I mean, sure, but that doesn't make the thing appear magically out of thin air. I'll order any available book for you overnight, it would be my pleasure, really, but I can't get my hands on a CD-player just like that. That's not my job either. I'm a bookseller after all.
Now, about a year after I finished my apprenticeship, I work at a crafts shop because the job market for booksellers is shit. Maybe that would be different if people would ask us for books for once instead of CD-players. But oh well... crafts shop it is. Don't you think that kind of conversation was done now, oh no, it just changed.
"Hello, I'd like to present my gift of money in a lovely way, do you happen to have a good idea for that?" (By the way, I love it when the word 'idea', which is the name of the shop as well, gets emphasized like that and then the customer thinks they made the greatest pun ever. Didn't hear that one before. Yes, you came up with that as the first person ever. So funny.) Yes, I have one or two ideas. Look, here, frame with cords, you can hang your money on there and put some stuff around that matches the occasion or the presentees interests. "Oh, that's too elaborate for me, that would require crafting." Thanks to some colleagues I know it's perfectly fine here to answer: "Well, you are in a crafts shop here..." Doesn't help though. Crafting ideas in a crafts shop, who would come up with that crazy kind of ideas? Then the customer lays an eye on the models in the shelf for inspiration and asks if they could buy that one instead. In some cases, they can, for example, the Schultüten (school cones, google it, that's pretty specific for Germany). When you tell them the price though, they usually lose it within seconds. They absolutely love to make a counteroffer that doesn't only disrespect the hours of work one of my colleagues put into it but also is way below the mere cost of the used materials. But buying ready for use packaging for gifts of money somewhere else is bad because you want something individual and not staple goods.
And here, as well, there are customers that go completely wild and yell and curse when you don't have what they are looking for. My favourite so far was an elderly man, I still don't know what he was actually looking for because his explanation was really inadequate before he started yelling at me, cursing on about todays youth and, anyway, no surprise retail is dying when we don't have what he wants. I could only smile about that. Because at some point you learn that those kind of moments are actually reeeeally funny when you yourself actually have nothing to do with them at all.
2.9.18
Re: Chemnitz
August 25th/26th 2018, Chemnitz, Saxony, Germany: Daniel Hillig, a German man of Cuban heritage, antifascist, is stabbed to death - allegedly by two refugees. The next day, hordes of Nazis hunt people of colour in the city.
August 27th: The Nazis organize what they call a "funeral march" - several thousands of Nazis attacking people of colour again, giving Hitler salutes and showing their naked asses. So much for mourning. For the first time (that I am aware of) there are more people demonstrating on the right-wing side than in the counter-demonstration. While the Hitler salute is illegal in Germany, the cops do nothing against them. While there are bottles and other stuff being thrown by the Nazis, cops are pointing their water guns at the antifascists. While the Nazis do all the things that lead to left-wing people being violently punished by cops at other demonstrations (e.g. the G20 protests in Hamburg), cops turn a blind eye today. There are thousands of counter-demonstrators, even more Nazis present, and only a few hundred cops. The proportions are worse than for every football game. Some might conclude from this that it's not wanted to hold Nazis back.
There are demonstrations like this almost every day now. In Chemnitz, but also in Dresden. The Nazis are violent, harassing and physically attacking people of colour, journalists, and antifascists. Most media outlets still hold back from calling them Nazis or right-wing extremists and still call them "worried" or "mourning". However, everyone who is against Nazis is called left-wing. In my opinion, left wing wouldn't even be a bad thing, but it simply isn't true.
It'd be easy to say that all of this popped up surprisingly. It didn't. When in 2015 the first massive bunch of refugees came to Germany, racist voices started to become louder. The Alternative für Deutschland (alternative for Germany), a racist party, was formed and got more and more successful. Bit by bit it got more accepted to say racist things out loud, after all, those people were "just worried", bit by bit it got more en vogue for people not being openly racist to be aggressively centrist, claiming that Nazis and antifascists were equally bad. People are still claiming that.
One thing that helped Nazis to get this loud again was the discourse being shifted more and more to cater to them. The CDU/CSU (Christian/conservative party), one of the major parties in Germany, increasingly discusses more racist views, even the social democrats are in the center at best nowadays. Increasingly more threatening statements got excused and played down again and again. Nazis are given a huge platform in talk shows and similar outlets. The general idea seems to be to listen to Nazis and their so-called "worries" to solve the problems they see so they can't use them for their hate and violence. It's a noble and well-meant approach - it just doesn't work.
The other huge factor in the uprising of the Nazis is the silent majority that doesn't say anything when facing racist worldviews - and equates Nazis and anti-fascists who don't stay silent. It all seems incredibly bizarre. People have been comfortably waiting for it to get so bad that even us white people who are not targeted by racism can't turn a blind eye to it anymore. And some are still trying to.
Another factor that played into the Nazis hands perfectly was the exaggeration of the so-called refugee crisis. This term has been incredibly present in the media for the past three years, and in my opinion, it was made much more of a big deal than it ever actually was. Yes, it started out pretty chaotic - after all, there were thousands of new people suddenly in Germany that no one really knew how to deal with first. It was a new extreme situation. But you know what? I think it was handled pretty well - no one who was in Germany before had a worse life or huge problems because of it. Now some might say that there has been a lot of crimes happening from the hands of refugees. And that is true. However, there have been a lot of crimes happening from the hands of people born and raised here as well. It is a fact that there are no more refugee offenders than non-refugee offenders. It is logical that when there are more people, there's more crime. The proportion stays the same though. It is also logical that in the age of the internet, people are painfully more aware of crimes happening around them than before the internet was such a wide-spread thing. That plus the prioritization of refugee offenders over non-refugee offenders in the media leads to a bizarre distortion of the public perspective that is not very close to the truth. The thing is that no one is saying that individual refugees can't be shitty people and are generally perfect human beings. Refugees are just as little of a homogenous group as German citizens are, neither in being perfect nor in being all bad. If only Saxons would put as much energy in making that clear as they put into defending themselves of being generalized as Nazis because they are so common here... However, no one ever gets tired of assuming that this is what antifascists think.
All of this is happening an one hour drive away from where I live.
Saxony's prime minister Michael Kretschmer refuses to see an actual Nazi problem but worries more about the image of Saxony. Dear Michael Kretschmer, dear everyone who worries about all people in Saxony being seen as Nazis now: We have a bigger problem than our image right now. I will stand for having to explain that I am antifascist every time I mention that I am from Saxony if it means that our very real and very bad Nazi problem gets taken seriously.
I was at none of the demonstrations. Mostly because those were always during my working hours this week. But to be brutally honest: I don't know if I had gone if I had been available. Because I am scared. I am very very scared of Nazis, especially with my constantly decreasing trust in public authorities to manage situations like this. And even with me not going to the demonstrations, I am also scared of going home alone at night right now (which I have to when working the late shift), mostly because it's important to me right now to be visibly antifascist, so I wear my jackets with antifascist patches, but that might make me a target. I can only imagine how people of colour feel right now. I can leave that patches at home. They can't.
It's all a big mess. We got a big mess happening over here. I'd love to say that I had done everything in my power to stop that from happening, but I haven't. I am personally co-responsible to all of this happening right now. All of us could have done more. I have been silent too. Not every time, but too many times when facing racism, I have been silent. Even though a lot of people around me have constantly been annoyed by me talking a lot about racism and Nazis being a problem, even though people have called me to radical and too extreme in my attempt on anti-fascism, I have not been annoying enough, not been loud enough. I realized that when I mentioned to a colleague this week that I was worried about friends who may have gone to Chemnitz to demonstrate and who I haven't heard of again yet and she had to ask me what side my friends were on. I thought it was obvious. It wasn't.
So this is ground zero for me and everyone to do now, the very least: Making clear what side you are on. Not only not agreeing but visibly and audibly dis-agreeing with Nazis. Even if all you reply to racist remarks is "I disagree", it is something. Don't let them believe that you agree just because you didn't say otherwise. Yes, that includes friends and family and it hurts. But it has to be done.
Another thing all of us can do is to look out for each other. If you can't go to demonstrations yourself for whatever reason, at least listen out for your friends who are going, make sure they got home safely again, take care of their mental well-being afterward. Also, reach out for your friends of colour twice as much. If you can, offer people who otherwise can't go to demonstrations but would to look after their children or pets. If you can, offer your friends to help them to pay for train tickets to Chemnitz. Support people who demonstrate against Nazis.
Thirdly, criticise the media and the police when necessary. Don't stay silent on unhelpful phrasing in the news or cops turning a blind eye to Nazis. Hold them accountable for their part in this.
And last but not least, as usual, go and vote in each and every election you come across. Because if Nazis win elections, shit will hit the fan. Seriously. We can not let this happen.
To all readers from outside of Germany: Please look out for us as well. Reach out for your friends living here. Spread the word about what's happening right now. Especially since our oh so precious image might take a hit or two - don't shut up. Please make our officials aware that you are seeing what's happening here and that you don't approve of it - so that they finally start acting.
August 27th: The Nazis organize what they call a "funeral march" - several thousands of Nazis attacking people of colour again, giving Hitler salutes and showing their naked asses. So much for mourning. For the first time (that I am aware of) there are more people demonstrating on the right-wing side than in the counter-demonstration. While the Hitler salute is illegal in Germany, the cops do nothing against them. While there are bottles and other stuff being thrown by the Nazis, cops are pointing their water guns at the antifascists. While the Nazis do all the things that lead to left-wing people being violently punished by cops at other demonstrations (e.g. the G20 protests in Hamburg), cops turn a blind eye today. There are thousands of counter-demonstrators, even more Nazis present, and only a few hundred cops. The proportions are worse than for every football game. Some might conclude from this that it's not wanted to hold Nazis back.
There are demonstrations like this almost every day now. In Chemnitz, but also in Dresden. The Nazis are violent, harassing and physically attacking people of colour, journalists, and antifascists. Most media outlets still hold back from calling them Nazis or right-wing extremists and still call them "worried" or "mourning". However, everyone who is against Nazis is called left-wing. In my opinion, left wing wouldn't even be a bad thing, but it simply isn't true.
It'd be easy to say that all of this popped up surprisingly. It didn't. When in 2015 the first massive bunch of refugees came to Germany, racist voices started to become louder. The Alternative für Deutschland (alternative for Germany), a racist party, was formed and got more and more successful. Bit by bit it got more accepted to say racist things out loud, after all, those people were "just worried", bit by bit it got more en vogue for people not being openly racist to be aggressively centrist, claiming that Nazis and antifascists were equally bad. People are still claiming that.
One thing that helped Nazis to get this loud again was the discourse being shifted more and more to cater to them. The CDU/CSU (Christian/conservative party), one of the major parties in Germany, increasingly discusses more racist views, even the social democrats are in the center at best nowadays. Increasingly more threatening statements got excused and played down again and again. Nazis are given a huge platform in talk shows and similar outlets. The general idea seems to be to listen to Nazis and their so-called "worries" to solve the problems they see so they can't use them for their hate and violence. It's a noble and well-meant approach - it just doesn't work.
The other huge factor in the uprising of the Nazis is the silent majority that doesn't say anything when facing racist worldviews - and equates Nazis and anti-fascists who don't stay silent. It all seems incredibly bizarre. People have been comfortably waiting for it to get so bad that even us white people who are not targeted by racism can't turn a blind eye to it anymore. And some are still trying to.
Another factor that played into the Nazis hands perfectly was the exaggeration of the so-called refugee crisis. This term has been incredibly present in the media for the past three years, and in my opinion, it was made much more of a big deal than it ever actually was. Yes, it started out pretty chaotic - after all, there were thousands of new people suddenly in Germany that no one really knew how to deal with first. It was a new extreme situation. But you know what? I think it was handled pretty well - no one who was in Germany before had a worse life or huge problems because of it. Now some might say that there has been a lot of crimes happening from the hands of refugees. And that is true. However, there have been a lot of crimes happening from the hands of people born and raised here as well. It is a fact that there are no more refugee offenders than non-refugee offenders. It is logical that when there are more people, there's more crime. The proportion stays the same though. It is also logical that in the age of the internet, people are painfully more aware of crimes happening around them than before the internet was such a wide-spread thing. That plus the prioritization of refugee offenders over non-refugee offenders in the media leads to a bizarre distortion of the public perspective that is not very close to the truth. The thing is that no one is saying that individual refugees can't be shitty people and are generally perfect human beings. Refugees are just as little of a homogenous group as German citizens are, neither in being perfect nor in being all bad. If only Saxons would put as much energy in making that clear as they put into defending themselves of being generalized as Nazis because they are so common here... However, no one ever gets tired of assuming that this is what antifascists think.
All of this is happening an one hour drive away from where I live.
Saxony's prime minister Michael Kretschmer refuses to see an actual Nazi problem but worries more about the image of Saxony. Dear Michael Kretschmer, dear everyone who worries about all people in Saxony being seen as Nazis now: We have a bigger problem than our image right now. I will stand for having to explain that I am antifascist every time I mention that I am from Saxony if it means that our very real and very bad Nazi problem gets taken seriously.
I was at none of the demonstrations. Mostly because those were always during my working hours this week. But to be brutally honest: I don't know if I had gone if I had been available. Because I am scared. I am very very scared of Nazis, especially with my constantly decreasing trust in public authorities to manage situations like this. And even with me not going to the demonstrations, I am also scared of going home alone at night right now (which I have to when working the late shift), mostly because it's important to me right now to be visibly antifascist, so I wear my jackets with antifascist patches, but that might make me a target. I can only imagine how people of colour feel right now. I can leave that patches at home. They can't.
It's all a big mess. We got a big mess happening over here. I'd love to say that I had done everything in my power to stop that from happening, but I haven't. I am personally co-responsible to all of this happening right now. All of us could have done more. I have been silent too. Not every time, but too many times when facing racism, I have been silent. Even though a lot of people around me have constantly been annoyed by me talking a lot about racism and Nazis being a problem, even though people have called me to radical and too extreme in my attempt on anti-fascism, I have not been annoying enough, not been loud enough. I realized that when I mentioned to a colleague this week that I was worried about friends who may have gone to Chemnitz to demonstrate and who I haven't heard of again yet and she had to ask me what side my friends were on. I thought it was obvious. It wasn't.
So this is ground zero for me and everyone to do now, the very least: Making clear what side you are on. Not only not agreeing but visibly and audibly dis-agreeing with Nazis. Even if all you reply to racist remarks is "I disagree", it is something. Don't let them believe that you agree just because you didn't say otherwise. Yes, that includes friends and family and it hurts. But it has to be done.
Another thing all of us can do is to look out for each other. If you can't go to demonstrations yourself for whatever reason, at least listen out for your friends who are going, make sure they got home safely again, take care of their mental well-being afterward. Also, reach out for your friends of colour twice as much. If you can, offer people who otherwise can't go to demonstrations but would to look after their children or pets. If you can, offer your friends to help them to pay for train tickets to Chemnitz. Support people who demonstrate against Nazis.
Thirdly, criticise the media and the police when necessary. Don't stay silent on unhelpful phrasing in the news or cops turning a blind eye to Nazis. Hold them accountable for their part in this.
And last but not least, as usual, go and vote in each and every election you come across. Because if Nazis win elections, shit will hit the fan. Seriously. We can not let this happen.
To all readers from outside of Germany: Please look out for us as well. Reach out for your friends living here. Spread the word about what's happening right now. Especially since our oh so precious image might take a hit or two - don't shut up. Please make our officials aware that you are seeing what's happening here and that you don't approve of it - so that they finally start acting.
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