Where am I?

This blogpost was originally published in German as part of the Retales series on countessleto.wordpress.de. 

"Where am I?"
This seems to be a question that customers just love to ask themselves but only after entering a shop and asking the assistants one or two questions. Or not at all. You usually get whether or not they did based on what they ask you.

During my bookseller apprenticeship, there were two types of people. Type 1 was all the people (and yes, they were quite a lot) entering and saying something like: "Hello, I'd like a book please." Internally, I'd roll my eyes at them and make a huge gesture around the room, as if to say: "IF ONLY WE HAD BOOKS!?" Of course you can't really do that. Instead, I'd ask a simple counter-question: "Would you like to specify that question a bit?" Usually, that'd do the deal.

Not with type 2 though - type 2 enters and asks for everything except for books. Sure, we can help out with some of those things, like calendars, planners, notebooks and so on. But then... all the times people asked me for stamps. Kind of related, sure, but no, you get stamps at the post office just down the road. Usually, they said that's too far away. But people also requested completely unrelated things like CD-players. And the best thing about that is: When you start explaining that you don't have what the customer was asking for - they start discussions. "That's incredibly bad service!" I mean, sure, but that doesn't make the thing appear magically out of thin air. I'll order any available book for you overnight, it would be my pleasure, really, but I can't get my hands on a CD-player just like that. That's not my job either. I'm a bookseller after all.

Now, about a year after I finished my apprenticeship, I work at a crafts shop because the job market for booksellers is shit. Maybe that would be different if people would ask us for books for once instead of CD-players. But oh well... crafts shop it is. Don't you think that kind of conversation was done now, oh no, it just changed.

"Hello, I'd like to present my gift of money in a lovely way, do you happen to have a good idea for that?" (By the way, I love it when the word 'idea', which is the name of the shop as well, gets emphasized like that and then the customer thinks they made the greatest pun ever. Didn't hear that one before. Yes, you came up with that as the first person ever. So funny.) Yes, I have one or two ideas. Look, here, frame with cords, you can hang your money on there and put some stuff around that matches the occasion or the presentees interests. "Oh, that's too elaborate for me, that would require crafting." Thanks to some colleagues I know it's perfectly fine here to answer: "Well, you are in a crafts shop here..." Doesn't help though. Crafting ideas in a crafts shop, who would come up with that crazy kind of ideas? Then the customer lays an eye on the models in the shelf for inspiration and asks if they could buy that one instead. In some cases, they can, for example, the Schultüten (school cones, google it, that's pretty specific for Germany). When you tell them the price though, they usually lose it within seconds. They absolutely love to make a counteroffer that doesn't only disrespect the hours of work one of my colleagues put into it but also is way below the mere cost of the used materials. But buying ready for use packaging for gifts of money somewhere else is bad because you want something individual and not staple goods.

And here, as well, there are customers that go completely wild and yell and curse when you don't have what they are looking for. My favourite so far was an elderly man, I still don't know what he was actually looking for because his explanation was really inadequate before he started yelling at me, cursing on about todays youth and, anyway, no surprise retail is dying when we don't have what he wants. I could only smile about that. Because at some point you learn that those kind of moments are actually reeeeally funny when you yourself actually have nothing to do with them at all.

Why I won't delete my Facebook

The last few days have been rough. Really rough. I had a lot of discussions with alt-righters and alt-right apologists, about if the left are just as bad and dangerous as the alt right and so on. The last few days have been frustrating and demanding and have cost me an awful lot of enegery. My blood pressure is propably way beyond a healthy level right now and there have been moments where I really wanted to break down in tears due to all the frustration. All of those discussions were held on Facebook, in various comment sections. There was the one in the comment section of a statement a local goth club made after being called out for firing DJs and bar staff for being openly antifascist (as in, against nazis, not more not less), quote: "We're against all kinds of extremism." as if being against literal nazis is that much of a radical idea. There was the one in the comment section of a newspaper article about the commemoration of the bombing of Dresden in World War II which the alt right used to talk about everything but the bombing of Dresden in World War II (namely, they talked about refugees and Angela Merkel, both have nothing to do with World War II), got blocked with a sit-in by the left counter demonstrators who they then beat up also using pepper spray while the police turned a blind eye and even encouraged their violence. And there are all the different smaller discussions I keep having. Throughout the past days, my fiance suggested that I should consider deleting my Facebook because clearly, it is something that hurts, exhausts and stresses me. He does have a point there, if I deleted my Facebook (or at least stopped going to those comment sections or even just stopped participating in them), I would be way less stressed and not constantly angry, upset, in a horrible mood. Here is why I will stay on Facebook, keep going to those comment sections and keep discussing:

1. Discussing with the alt-right shows them that not everyone is on their side.

Sometimes it is as simple as that: Those comment sections basically belong to the alt right and their supporters nowadays. I know what to expect when I go there and that I will be disgusted by their ignorance, inhumanity and hate. They feel like when there's no one interfering with their comments, they're right, especially since they are so many that the opposite happens, they keep agreeing each other. Discussing with them shows them that not everyone is agreeing.

2. Discussing with the alt-right shows minorities that someone is on their side.

No, I don't think all the energy I put in discussions like that make a change in alt-right peoples minds. It's very unlikely I can make them question their own stances. However, people who are targeted by the alt-right might feel better if racist/homophobic/transphobic/sexist/etc. comments are interfered with. People who are targeted by them and people who think alike will not feel alone not thinking like the alt-right. Which leads us right to the next point.

3. Discussing with the alt-right might influence the opinions of people who have not "chosen a side" yet.

Especially young people may not have an opinion on many political topics yet and they may learn stuff and get to know different viewpoints from reading discussions like this. If they only get to see the racist rethoric, they might just take it as a given, no one is disagreeing so it must be right. By having discussions on social media, we help undecided peope get more than one viewpoint and different approaches to toppics to build their own opinions from.

4. Discussing with the alt-right... simply because someone has to. 

Someone has to fight, for all the reasons above and more. Now you might wonder why I specifically have to, since it obviously hurts me. The answer to that is as sad as it is simple: Who if not me? In both discussions I wrote about in the beginning of this post, I was the only one discussing against the alt-right. Sure, people liked my comments which signals approval, and that does help me a bit to not feel alone and unheard, but it would have helped a lot more to know that if I lost all energy to discuss, someone else would take over. Or someone giving arguments I don't think of in the moment or can't give because I don't know things they know. Or simply someone supporting me in this fight. This is supposed to be a team effort, and I felt very alone in the past few days discussing with several people simultaneously all on my own.Which is innitially a reason why I feel like I have to keep going.

So I won't delete my Facebook, I will keep going to comment sections and interfere with their filterbubble. I really hope that this post might motivate some of you reading this to actively participate in discussions more. When we give up because of demotivation, exhaustion or whatever, they have won. If we are many, we can take turns so others can take breaks. Stay active, peeps.