Last week, I read an article on the German blog Im Gegenteil titled "The future isn't female - a plea for more cooperation between the genders" that was, in my eyes, pretty ill-informed and not fully thought through. I decided to write an article myself, an alternative to what the other author wrote and made feminism out to be. This article was originally published on Im Gegenteil in German as well.
Oh, when will we finally get rid of that old fairytale that feminists want to get rid of men. When will critics of feminism finally realize what feminists already know: That feminists, of course, don't want to get rid of men, because a) it's simply impossible and b) doesn't help at all?
Why do so many people still believe this nonsense? Probably because they lack the willingness to abstract. Because the thing feminism wants to get rid of is the patriarchy, the supremacy of men - and when we say "men", we mean masculinity as a social concept, not "each and every individual man has to cease to exist". Maybe that is because we are not a children's playtime club, no fancy trend that is in right now, but individuals with a political opinion - opinions, that is, which can differ a lot and can be expressed differently as well, of course. Because that is basically the main point of feminism: We are not a homogenous group. Because women are not a homogenous group. Men aren't either, by the way.
Now some may say: "When neither men nor women are a homogenous group, why do you fight against the supremacy of men, isn' t that a contradiction?"
Let's start at the very beginning, with the idea that "man" and "woman" are merely categories that we as humans use for ourselves. The failure of those begins when we are asking for definitions: What makes someone a man or a woman? A lot of people love to answer that with genitals or chromosomes. I'm sorry to disappoint you: Even from a biological view there are not only man and woman, two categories existing strictly like this. There's way more variety than XX and XY and there's a spectrum between vagina and penis. I know, all of us learned that differently in school but just because our curriculum is simplified that doesn't mean reality is as well.
So it's natural to just assume that gender is a social construct and that also means that so-called femininity and masculinity are only learned behaviours. And now we are at the roots: We live in a society that works within these exact categories. We humans just really love our labels. In the end, the aim is that each and every person can do what he or she or they or every other pronoun should be able to do whatever they want. Every person should be able to live however they want and however it makes them happy. Of course with the usual limits: My freedom ends where it limits the freedom of someone else. That goes in every direction - doing things that don't fit your socially assigned gender role, doing exactly those things, everything in between.
And yes, sure, by law we already got pretty far, but only because it already got better that doesn't mean we are already done. When I go on vacation I don't stop half-way down the road either and say "Ok, here we are, vacation time!" when I'm still in France but originally planned to go to Portugal. Sure, by law we can live our lives quite freely already. The problem is mainly the reactions of others to how we live - sure, women can have a career, but there's still always the worry that they could get pregnant the next second and go on maternity leave. Even when they can't have children. Which is not anyone's business, really. And even if they get pregnant: Why does it harm the professional life of the person giving birth so much, but not the person who impregnated them? When we always say that it takes two people to make a child (which is correct), why is only one of them taking the responsibility for it? Why isn't it more normal for both parents to equally take care of their child? We are having a structural problem here, a vicious circle that needs to be broken. And that isn't only the case here but also when the topic is the choice of profession, the gender pay gap, and many more.
The point is: Yes, theoretically, women can be and do everything they want in Germany, but it will be so much harder as soon as they want to be or do something that is viewed as masculine. The other way around as well. Ever seen the drama when a man wants to be a nurse or a kindergarten teacher?
My favourite argument is still that it is women making other women's lives miserable. And again: yes! It was never about blaming one gender. Sometimes I wish it was that easy because that would make these problems way easier to solve. The sad truth is: women are sexist. Of course they are. All of us are sexist. Simply because we live in and are socialized by a sexist society. Vicious circle, again.
So when we agree that everyone should be able to live a life in equality and well-being regardless of gender and that neither women are the only victims of the patriarchy nor men are the only ones responsible for it: Why call it feminism and not humanism? That's basically not wrong. On the German Wikipedia page about humanism you can read the following definition: "[Humanism] drafts an ideal society where the best possible personal development of every individual person should be enabled. This is linked to criticism of current circumstances which are opposing this goal from the viewpoint of humanism." So you could say in your best conscience: Feminism is always humanistic. The reason to still call it feminism is explained just as quickly: When everything that is viewed as masculine by humanity is valued more than everything that is categorized as feminine we have to bring both to an equal level. And only then we have a chance to get rid of those categories for good.
So yes, I do agree: The future isn't female. The future is diverse and great for everyone. And yes, for that to happen all of us have to work together regardless of gender. So please: Reflect on yourself, your thoughts, your behavious, talk to your friends, family and everyone you know, raise your children to be individuals and maybe, in a few generations, we can be truly humanist. Because feminism is only necessary as long as sexism exists.
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