"My heart and other black holes" by Jasmine Warga - Review

Aysel is 16, depressive and plans to kill herself. Some may think that this is the typical melodramatic behaviour of a teenager. But Aysels problems are pretty atypical: She is the daughter of a convicted murderer, and no one in Langston, a small town in Kentucky, fails to remind her of that, not even her family who she feels left out of, and she herself. She fears that she might have inherited the „gene for evil“, for the rage and aggression of her father, and one thing is clear – waiting and seeing what happens? Not an option.

But Aysel is also scared that she might not follow through, that she might back down in the last second. A partner is needed, and she finds that partner online at „Smooth Passages“.

This partners name is Roman, respectively FrozenRobot, is 17 and lives in the nearby town Willis, even though „living“, in his case, means „existing“. Roman has to live with a whole different problem: He didn't watch his younger sister carefully enough and she drowned. He feels responsible for that. He, too, fears he might not actually do it, and thus he advertises at Smooth Passages and is found by Aysel.

Except for the shared wish for death, Aysel and Roman are quite different. While Aysel is more of a weirdo with her interest in classical music and science plus her Turkish heritage which is pretty uncommon in conserative Kentucky, Roman is popular, athletic, normal and somewhat fitting in. What they share is April 7^th, the day they chose to jump off a cliff into Ohio River together. But can you plan a suicide with someone you don't even know? Even if you just want to die instead of live together?

„My heart and other black holes“ is Jasmine Wargas well-made first novel. You don't wish upon her that she got inspired by her own life, yet, she started writing after a good friend of her died in 2013. Thematically, this young adult book is incredibly important. In a world where the rates of teenagers in therapy rise steadily it is a great approach to offer a reflection in the character of Aysel that touches the reader, may it be the reader that is affected themself or the happiest person in the world. And we follow this reflection, we understand Aysels emotions, her grief, her fear, her suspicion, and we witness her developement, see a possible progress of an illness that is hidden and ignored so easily. Still, „My heart and other black holes“ isn't meant to scare people. It's meant to help feeling understood, and this intention is met with bravour.

I'd recommend „My heart and other black holes“ to fans of John Greens „The fault in our stars“, to readers who like to sympathise, and of course to everyone who wants to feel understood in their sorrows just once.