Take your broken heart, make it into art

If you had a dollar for every time I said this

for every time I quoted Carrie Fisher

you‘d be a millionaire.

If I had a dollar for every time

you brought up this dollar thing

I‘d be a billionaire.

We just easily fell into place

with our quirks and

our scars

and

I lifted you up

when you grounded me

I kicked your ass to do things

when you made me chill the fuck out

for once in my goddamn life

and

now I am afloat.

Hundreds of feet above the ground

a balloon in the night sky

being nudged further away by the wind

Slowly drifting away

Its calm up here

Quiet

Not a sound between the stars

And cold

Freezing

And I wonder how I ever breathed

and did I ever need to, really?

I lost my ground

casting off

anchor gone

And I am scared

and yet a weight was lifted

but still scared of what‘s ahead

and scared ‚cause I‘m not burning

(why am I not burning)

Why do I feel so calm

and so cold

And nothing feels real anymore

I‘m just floating higher

and higher

(They say sky is the limit but

they didn‘t account for the infinity of space)

and forget that I have ever breathed

or moved

or felt

crystals on my face

that used to be tears

as I drift away

so much faster than I thought

Into emptiness

Take your broken heart

make it into art

but right now

art feels shallow

How can I make it art

when my heart has

yet to be shattered by the ice

Making art is just a habit

but how can I express what I feel

when I can‘t feel anything?

I am just floating off

it's so easy to fly when you weigh nothing

‚cause you‘re empty

Staring into space

and space stares back

as we become one

calm

and

cold

and

infinite nothing

and it will feel like peace

until I finally

implode