"Nicotine" by Nell Zink - Review

First of all, I want to say that "Nicotine" was not an easy read. It took me about 10 weeks to finish it. To be completely honest with you, I still don't know what exactly to think of it, because it was very strange. It was not exactly good in a classic sense, not the kind of book you just want to celebrate, but that doesn't mean it was bad either. Not at all! But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's try to give you a summary of what it is about first.

Penny Bakers life has never been normal or ordinary: Her father, a cult leader of sorts, married her mother, who's younger than his oldest son, after originally adopting her (yes, that does have a very Woody Allen vibe to it, you are not the only one thinking that). Penny used to rebell against her family by being the more conventional one until her father dies and with him the rental contract for the flat she lives in. Since she is unemployed this makes her face the problem of eventually becoming homeless as well. When she visits her grandparents house that is supposed to be a ruin and finds it alive and well and occupied by a jolly group of passionate smokers (who gave it the name "Nicotine") and falls in love with Rob, a self-proclaimed asexual bike repairman, she decides to not tell him and the others that this house belongs to her family and instead dives into the squatters culture and anarchist life style. All would be well if it wasn't for Pennys oldest brother Matt, who inherited the house from his father and wants to claim it - and also falls in love with Jazz, another occupant of the Nicotine, leading to a very unhealthy obsession with her.

I think its safe to say that "Nicotine" is a very unconventional book. To be honest it wasn't easy to narrow down the plot to the summary above because it has a lot going on given that it only has 336 pages. As someone who has experienced squatters and anarchist circles, I did recognize a few things as very familiar, other things seemed very odd or even wrong to me, but who am I to judge if that isn't exactly how people are like in the United States? If there aren't mostly occupied houses where all people occupying it are activists for the same cause (for example "smokers rights", or climate activists etc.)?

A thing I kinda liked was the uninhibited portrayal of sexuality and especially female sexuality, desire and pleasure (since that is still very thinly spread). However, it often gave me a somewhat voyeuristic feeling, the feeling of the reader being intrusive. It made me uncomfortable, and I guess that is the point. Not porn or overly romaticising, but absolute intimacy including things that only work in said intimacy between everyone involved, which makes the portrayal of sex in this book feel very natural, real and true.

On the other hand, we have the portrayal of sexual orientations which rubbed me the wrong way (no pun intended). As I said, Rob is asexual, but this gets questioned a lot by those wanting to sleep with him and is a huge topic throughout the book, including the narrative of people not able to have a relationship with him without sex. This is not discussed with him or realized after thinking stuff through, it is just a given and unlike Robs asexuality, it is never questioned by anyone.

SPOILER AHEAD

...of course it turns out that Rob isn't actually asexual but just insecure because he has a small dick and after realizing that no one gives a shit about dick sizes when they're in love everyone fucks happily ever after. My guys, I am mad. So much for acceptance in the portrayal of ace folks. Great. Just great.

SPOILER END

I already mentioned that another thing that rubbed me the wrong way was Pennys family in their entirety. Not because they show toxic, unhealthy family constellations (it does get a lot weirder than what I already told you) but because it is never questioned or put into perspective. It is portrayed as normal and ok and not to be viewed with concern. No one, not a single character stops to think "wait, should I really just accept this and not wonder if theres some serious manipulation playing into that old dude marrying his adopted daughter..?" That just never happens and to me does seem unrealistic and an unhealthy portrayal, especially since we're mostly dealing with leftist SJW characters here.
Overall, I think it's pretty obvious that I still don't quite know what to really think of "Nicotine". It did have it's moments and wasn't a bad read but it has a lot of problematic aspects, so I guess I wouldn't recommend to buy it, but if you can borrow it and feel up for something very weird and kinda uncomfortable, do your thing.

Books to read to make you feel better

Reading can help a lot with things, I think if you, dear reader, found this humble blog, you propably know that already. Throughout my life, I struggled with a lot of different things, from things as simple and survivable as break-ups up to actual depression. And even though I tend to prefer books about the saddest, heartbreaking topics, there are some that helped, either anyway, or because I picked up something carefree for once. I will not go as far as pretending books could cure mental illness, rest assured, but what I am going to say is that personally, I found peace in reading books that are supposed to make you happy, I found calm within pages as I found useful advise from time to time when characters went through things comparable to my own situation at this point. So I don't guarantee for anything, but here are a few books that help bring me up again when I am feeling down and maybe they can help you too.

"Hectors Search For Happiness" by Francois Lelord

 See, this is one of those carefree books. The style of writing is very pure as if Hector wasn't a grown-up psychiatrist but, well, a little boy viewing the world as a very happy place to begin with (which propably makes his search for happiness easier). The movie with Simon Pegg and Rosamund Pike is very recommendable too, even though it is a lot more realistic because we rather watch Hector on his journey than seeing the journey through his own eyes.
I read this book when I just started my apprenticeship and the town I newly moved to was still a bit scary and strange and I was just starting to get a bit better after the really dark few months - it did help me with my recovery, and I still like to watch the movie on bad days (and cry like a happy little baby in the end).




"Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert

Another book turned into a movie, but this time, for the love of god, please don't watch the movie (or, if you have already, don't let the movie stop you from reading the book). I came to read this pretty coincidentally, I got a used copy somewhere for free and thought "okay, this is said to be a so called 'womens book' (=aka cheesy and lovey dovey and just not my type of books), but it's hyped a lot, so let's see what all the fuss is about, after all it's free"- this one one of the luckiest coincidences in my life so far (and I do have a lot of lucky coincidences).
"Eat Pray Love" is non-fiction but still pretty much written like a novel. It is about Elizabeth Gilbert herself recovering from her divorce by spending a trimester each in Italy (where she basically eats her own body weight in pizza and pasta to enjoy wordly things), India (where she joins an Ashram to embrace spirituality) and on Bali (to find a way to combine both). I read this book when I was recovering from a pretty rough break-up myself and found some useful advise on how to deal with my own feelings in the way Elizabeth dealt with hers, as well as advise on how to go about my love life in the future. I have since been a lot more chill about dating, so this book actually had a long-term positive influence on me.

"The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho

 I actually just finished this book last week, I picked it because it's a classic and pretty short (less than 200 pages) so it was a nice read after I finished "The Blackthorn Key" and waited for the second Blackthorn book to be released. "The Alchemist" isabout following your destiny and your dreams and having trust that somehow, everything will work out.
After realizing that the next two months will be rough financially and being frustrated with the infamous German bureaucracy, this book really calmed me down - it's right, I will survive this and everything is going to be so much better after going that one last mile on my way to a life with a new, well-paid job and a new flat etc. "I'll be okay, even if everything sucks from time to time" is the message this book shouts in your face.



Other examples would be the Harry Potter books, for example, or "Ronia, the Robbers Daughter" by Astrid Lindgren, just books from my childhood in general because they always take me back in time a bit to a time where things were just easier. Of course that wouldn't work for everyone, but it works for me, and I'm glad reading helps me cope. Do you have books as well that you keep going back to when everything sucks?

"The Keeper Of Lost Things" by Ruth Hogan - Review

Many people collect something in their free time. Stamps, coins, rocks, books... but it's a lot rarer you hear about people collecting lost things, things they find somewhere. Writer Anthony Peardew is such a person. Ripped off coat buttons, umbrellas and a mysterious cookie tin filled with ashes, Anthony keeps everything, puts a label on it stating when and where he found it and tries to give it back to its original owner. He does all of this to compensate for a lost locket he once got from his deceased love Therese.

When Anthony dies he leaves his house and his whole fortune to his assistent Laura – and with it the task to bring back the lot things to their rightful owners. Laura doesn't feel like she could handle that but she gets help from Freddy, the garderer she's secretely in love with, and Sunshine, a girl with down syndrome who lives in the neighbourhood that hardly ever leaves her side.

Throwback to 1974: Young Eunice starts working as an assistent to the attractive publisher Bomber. They share a big passion for movies and an incredible love for dogs and Eunice instantly falls in love with him. But she knows that they will never be a couple and instead she stays at his side as a trustworthy friend, both at the publishing company and in their private life where she helps him facing his sister who is spoiled by a big inheritance and doesn't understand why Bomber refuses to publish her shamelessly plagiarized manuscripts.

In her first novel „The Keeper Of Lost Things“, Ruth Hogan neatly puts those two plots together without being too intrusive – the full extent of the link is only revealed on the last pages. Both stories are full of British humour, heartwarming moments and a little bit of mystic. Lauras story is also bristles with short stories about the lost things in Anthonys possesion – if they are from the writers imagination or the actual backround stories is up to the reader. All that makes „The Keeper Of Lost Things“ a light summer read without too much kitsch that should delight fans of David Whitehouses „Mobile Library“.